I flicked through my portable Dorothy Parker and found last years poem. I present it here unchanged.
The Apple Tree
When first we saw the apple treeThe boughs were dark and straight,But never grief to give had we,Though Spring delayed so late.When last I came away from thereThe boughs were heavy hung,But little grief had I to spareFor Summer, perished young.
But this year requires a little butchering. My apologies to Ms Parker.
First Year's Growing (which may be based on The Lady's Reward)
Lady, lady, never start
To turn your plot with all your heart;
Keep you grass looking green;
Or your neighbours might get mean.
If your fruit you want to cook,
Net it from that god damn rook,
Never allow the weeds to grow;
So tall you cannot use the hoe
With this weather you'll need to pray
To get a cherry flower in May.
Lady, lady, never speak
Of how much you hate leek-
She will never make friends, whose
Planting follows an unusual muse
Never complain your plot is bad,
They'll think for you it's just a fad.
Never let on you know what to do,
Or you'll get a talking to-
And if you get some veggies, kid,
You’ll be the first that ever did.
I know, I know. I actually getting veggies but the the yields are low because it's our first year and anyway it rhymes so there.
A second idea comes from Stephen who is convinced that Green Day's Good Riddance opens with 'Another turnip on the fork stuck in the road'
[This post was written as a response to the 9th prompt of Gayla Trail's Grow Write Guild. Check it out.]